Making Choices

Originally, when I wrote my new principles about how I would like to live the rest of my life, I said, "I will make choices that leave me with the resources to contribute to the lives of others." I'm finding it necessary to edit that one substantially already.

It turns out that I can't make choices to contribute to the lives of others unless I first make responsible choices about my own life. I've seen that very clearly in the last few weeks, in my decisions to live healthier both physically and financially.

First of all, I've lost over 40 pounds since the early weeks of April by following a bariatric diet and exercising. But, a bout of pneumonia in mid-July caught me by surprise and triggered the loss of electrolytes in my system. And then, somehow, my blood sugar went crashing through the floor. Since I was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes less than three years ago, I've never experienced the lows and they are terrifying and dangerous. It helps that our dog Harry comes to my side or wakes me up whenever my blood sugar drops too quickly or too low. I have no idea how he knows, but I'm grateful that he is teaching me to be aware.

I've spent every day since trying to learn the rhythms of my own body and its needs and am beginning to get the hang of it. However, I've decided to let everything I was committed to go in order to finally commit to my well being. I've said each year since I retired that I was taking a year to improve my health and every year other things distract me. No more - I never want to stagger and lurch down the hallway again with a blood sugar count of 40. I never want to babble about things and people that aren't there again because my body is stripped of necessary nutrients. I may not have another year, if I don't get it right now.

My mother will be moving here in a year and I want to enjoy her as much as I can. I want to walk the dogs with my husband in the evenings and kayak with him in the early mornings. I'm looking forward to healthy dinners with friends and sharing the vegetables from our garden with them. I want to visit with my sister and brother-in-law both here and at their home. And I want to continue to see my children thrive through whatever life brings them.

One day I'll return to my volunteer work as an activist for educational opportunities for our community's children. I love it and believe it is the work I was born to do. There will be new challenges ahead for me, both as a teacher and a learner. But, I see this moment in my life as an opportunity, not a challenge, and I intend to make the best use of it that I possibly can.