Tuesday, May 7, 2002

Unanticipated

I find myself in a totally unanticipated position – I am retiring after twenty-eight years of teaching kindergarten. Despite measuring the years by the number of Halloweens and Valentines Days that remained in my active career, I never actually expected the count to get down to zero. I guess I thought it would be more like continually dividing a pizza into slices; no matter how minute the portion, there would always be some left to divide again.

I am not actually going to stop working. I won’t stay at home to read or garden or volunteer or travel. In June I will retire from the public school system where I’ve worked for most of my life. Next fall I will teach at one of the colleges in our area. During the last two years as a specialist working directly with teachers, I often thought that I would like to end my career back in the classroom. I just never anticipated that it would be with kids who can tie their own shoes, cut their own meat, and drive their own cars.

It took me over a month to make up my mind to actually do it. I don’t think it was an age issue. It’s more like it’s a RETIREMENT issue. I mean, I remember my first week of teaching and how happy I was when we were snowed in for the entire second week of my career - and again for the entire fourth week. I remember the kid (what was his name?) who brought a snake to school in his pocket and pulled it out after lunch for show and tell during that first spring. Not many people get off to a start like that.

I was stunned to find that after thirty years of a wonderful marriage, raising two great children, and a career as a really strong teacher, I was completely unprepared to make a decision that was so obviously to my advantage. My gross pay will go way up. My workload will go way down. I thought I turned the job down once, but apparently I was negotiating. Who knew you could do such a thing? I certainly did not and I bet not many of my public school colleagues know it either.

This time in my life is actually a lot like cresting the first climb of a new roller coaster. I chose to go for it. I can see some of the loops, turns, and drops ahead. I can appreciate the view. A lot of my friends and family are getting ready to go for the same ride. I have some idea of what lies ahead. I just hope it won’t be over about the time I quit screaming and open my eyes.